The Bitch Slap: A Creamy, Caffeinated Kick in a Glass ☕👋

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The Bitch Slap: A Creamy, Caffeinated Kick in a Glass ☕👋

Introduction

Need a drink that’s as bold as its name? The Bitch Slap is here to deliver—a creamy, coffee-spiked cocktail that’s equal parts indulgent and invigorating. Combining Baileys Irish Cream, Kahlúa, vodka, and milk, this drink is like a boozy iced coffee with attitude. Perfect for sipping after dinner or when you need a liquid pep talk, it’s a no-fuss crowd-pleaser that’s almost as satisfying as the real thing.

Ingredients (Serves 1)

  • 1.5 oz Baileys Irish Cream (the velvet hammer)
  • 1 oz skim milk (or whole milk/half-and-half for extra decadence)
  • 0.5 oz vodka (for a clean, sharp slap)
  • 0.5 oz Kahlúa coffee liqueur (because caffeine + booze = winning)
  • Ice (enough to fill the glass)

Tips for Success

  1. Milk Matters: Skim keeps it light, but whole milk or cream turns it into dessert.
  2. Chill Out: Use pre-chilled ingredients—no one likes a lukewarm slap.
  3. Garnish Game: Dust with cocoa powder, cinnamon, or float a coffee bean for ~aesthetic~ vibes.
  4. Vegan? Swap dairy for almond or oat milk and use a plant-based Baileys.
  5. Stronger Slap: Up the vodka to 1 oz if you’re feeling feisty.

Step-by-Step Instructions

  1. Prep the Glass: Fill a rocks glass or coffee mug to the brim with ice.
  2. Layer the Liquids: Pour in Baileys, milk, vodka, and Kahlúa like you’re building a booze lasagna.
  3. Stir Gently: Mix just enough to blend—no aggressive shaking required (this isn’t a therapy session).
  4. Garnish (Optional): Sprinkle with cocoa or cinnamon for a ~fancy~ finish.
  5. Serve Immediately: Best enjoyed before the ice dilutes your resolve.

Nutritional Info (Approx.)

  • Calories: ~250-300 (depending on milk choice)
  • Carbs: 15-20g
  • Fat: 5-8g
  • Alcohol: ~1.5 standard drinks
  • Regrets: 0

Variations to Spice It Up

  • Spiced Bitch Slap: Add a dash of cayenne or cinnamon for heat.
  • Mocha Madness: Stir in ½ oz chocolate syrup.
  • Iced Coffee Upgrade: Swap milk for cold brew concentrate.
  • Dessert Mode: Blend with ice cream for a boozy milkshake.

When to Serve

  • Post-dinner treat (because dessert should be drinkable).
  • Brunch rebellion (who needs mimosas?).
  • “I survived my workweek” celebration.

Final Verdict

The Bitch Slap is the cocktail equivalent of a caffeine-powered hug—smooth, slightly sweet, and just strong enough to make you forget why you were annoyed in the first place. Cheers to liquid therapy! 🥃

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